Encore Post.
7.14.2010
"Why do we judge the stripper and not the customer?"
I have asked myself this question often, since so often I was judged when I danced. And interestingly enough, my income was supplemented by the people who were judging me the most. Yep, the patronizing men that would make it rain in the club, were probably our harshest critics outside of the club. And it just seems odd these women who receive such criticism (strippers), seem to be making a lot of money off of these guys who so often look down on them. Just another acceptable double standard, right? For a long time, "society" has viewed strippers as women who have had to resort to dancing as a means of getting by, assuming that they are dumb and don't have the common knowledge, education, or job experience to gain "real" employment. Now, as for the men, who indirectly employ the dancers, they are always viewed as successful, or rich. They're able to do whatever they want with their money, including but not limited to using the money as a charming mechanism for the ladies, and a source of power for the stripper. So, I guess it is their financial success that releases them from judgement when they become the "Strip Club Trick".
The Strip industry houses all sorts of women. Some are really smart ladies that have other things going on, like school, second jobs, kids, etc. Others are purely fueled by the fast money and freedom to make your own schedule and place of employment.These days, stripping has become more of an option that some women willingly choose, rather than a shameful choice we are forced to make. Being pretty AND smart comes in handy when entertaining rich men, especially in the strip club. Some of the time, dancers can be the smarter of the two, and consider it being a craft to be able to get paid to look gorgeous and dance in one spot, nude, giggling, harmlessly flirting away while the songs keep going and the money keeps flowing. I don't know how much of an art form hustling is, but it is only the stupid strippers that make it hard for the business to stay legit.
So what makes the customer better than the stripper?
Of course, there are tons of exotic dancers who fit that stereotype of a dumb, promiscuous drug addict prostitute. No matter how opposite you are to that, the stigma and money are a package deal. If strippers have such a bad reputation, how come their employers (customers) aren't equally as damned? With stripper and customer, one can not exist without the other, and the money is the number one enabler. Personally I try not to judge anyone that is generous enough to spend an evening in the club buying drinks and dances all night, especially in this economy. So, it is only fitting that the women who choose to dance for a living get that same respect. If a guy wants to give me money to dance for him nude, he is getting what he wants (the dance), and I'm getting what i want (the money). That fair exchange makes for two satisfied people. And in this case, money clearly supersedes that satisfaction. Because in the end, it is money that distinguishes who is getting judged, and who is not.
Just something to think about..












15 thought(s)..:
While you make EXTREMELY valid points, the bottom line is: Stripping in "society" will ALWAYS be frowned upon....such as life. It's one of those things equal to women not being able to do the same things as men. It's just how it it! Just as black people, WOMEN are unfortunately behind the 8-ball in a lot of instances. We always have to "run a little faster, and climb a little higher".
I will say this, I would NEVER wish that life for myself or my child. Only for the simple facts (IMO) that I've stated earlier. I will never give "them" another reason to dim my light......
I've never understood why girlfriends/wives get mad at strippers. It was your man who spent your rent money at the strip club, the stripper was just doing her job. My 2 cents
I can honestly say Brook, that since I started following you on twitter I have had a much more broad aspect and respect for strippers.I have always though that stripping was just a lazy way for most females to get out of doing real labor but that was far from the case. As you have pointed out most women who strip do have an education, kids and a normal life outside of the club...
With that being said, Men who go to these clubs and give these strippers their hard earned pay need to take into STRICT consideration that these are hard working women too whom deserve the same respect as they would if they had a meeting in a board room. Especially since these women risk reputation and safety working in these clubs.
Society has shown time and again that they will frown upon things that a generation or two later they will come to realize was unnecessary. Racial equality and homosexuality come to mind.
Also it's difficult for people really about their hustle to give a damn what other people think because those bills on the counter are not going to be paid with the currency of public opinion. My money is not dirtier than yours because of what I do... but there's probably more of it.
I try to respect most people's hustles but just because it may not be something I would want my children to is irrelevant. My father was a chef and my mother was a nurse and neither of them wanted me to follow that path; they wanted better for me.
as a regular customer, i can relate to this post. One cannot exist without the other.. it is a mutual agreeable co-existence that somehow seems to work. customer - dancer.
great post.
The stripper is judged and not the customer, for a variety of reasons. Although we are well into the 21st century, I believe the main reason stems from the fact that women who have went against the grain of their society have always been the object of greater hostility than their male counterparts. History has made that apparent to us. Women's drives, ambitions, desires, and sexuality have always been tapered. It's unfortunate that this mentality ever existed and that it continues to exist today. Some find it puzzling that the men who spend money in establishments such as strip clubs are often the biggest critics of the women working there. I don't find it puzzling at all. The patrons of strip very likely become jaded with the atmosphere, and struggle with insecurities and feelings of contempt for the women who dance and flirt the night away all while racking up cash from them. Thought's like 'Would she really be talking to me if I weren't spending?' along with 'Damn, all these bitches do is dance and play all night & they probably make more than me.', probably run thru their heads. Those are just a few that came to mind, but I'm positive there's so much more negativity and ugliness.
Although my lifestyle is not supported by "strip", as you so eloquently referred to it in past postings Brook, my means of sustaining myself has certain parallels with "strip". I am not uneducated, cracked-out, unambitious, or lazy. Currently, my lifestyle just suits me and when it does not any longer, I will transition. Unfortunately most will not understand or respect my present choice so I keep it to myself. I really do admire women like yourself Brook and Jia who have the courage and tenacity to throw the shroud of secrecy to the side and share with us what you do. Thank you for debunking the myth to those in the blogosphere who are receptive to different points of view, that not all women who choose to employ themselves in some facet of adult entertainment are worthless bobble-heads.
libragurl
Hey brook great post. Your def the voice of reason on this topic. Being a newcomer to the "industry" ive certainly been judged and frowned upon by customer, friends and family. When ppl find out i dance, the 1st thing out of ones mouth is "stripping!!?? but your so smart, intelligent, why? Its so degrading". I oftenget that WHILE wntertaining the customer, as hes stuffing his weekly paycheck from a underpaid 9-5 in my thong. My response to such ignorance is "i am intelligent, and smart enough to take any fools money whose gonna throw it on the stage". Its not rocket science. Furthermore, i will tell you whats degrading. Me paying for school to be a healthcare professional and finding employment that nets only enough to pay my student loans monthly. That was DEGRADING. You flipping burgers at 25, degrading. Fucking random broke men, degrading. Hell. Just being ingnorant on this subject is degrading. Its just that double standard. Men can be drug dealers and get praised. "Wheres the love?" #hov
I don't feel either should be judged, it's entertainment from a "customer" stand point (a way to relax and hang out wit' associates) and a hustle from the "stripper" standpoint...ladies get your money (stack it should you ever experience hardship and flip it to make your lifestyle as you want it).
I agree, stripping is now more open and easier to talk about but it will always be frowned upon. More of a rebel thing to do.
I think it's hypocrisy for a man who is enjoying the dance and paying for it to judge the dancer. I use to hit the clubs on the regular in Miami and never judged the girls who danced for me. I was paying for dry humping lap dances and to have nipples rubbed across my lips. Exactly what position was I in to make any sort of moral judgement? I paid hundreds of dollars to get what I wasn't getting any home. Women who dance deserve to be treated with respect whether they have clothes on or not. Judging makes a man thinks he has the right to then be disrespectful. Men think exposed pussy means the woman must be a ho and willing to share it or she is sharing it. That is the catch 22.
If there wasn't a market for it then stripping wouldn't exist. I think this is one of those double standards that will not be going away anytime soon. 30 years from now society will probably still feel the same way.
After reading this, I definitely have to say you made some very good points. I don't oppose strippers I support. But after reading this, I got an entirely different POV, especially when I think of the old sleezeballs with the most mouth about strippers steady tippin. Definitely makes sense. Loves your blog!!
I saw this article today and thought of this. Honestly, I never thought about this or saw the point of these posts until I saw this. I'm finally seeing what you're talking about.
http://jezebel.com/5603659/an-open-letter-from-a-stripper
In all of my years, I don't think that I have heard any real men judge strippers. If anything, it has always been other women who judge, diss, or disown their female counterparts. That's the main reason why women won't run/rule the world: pettiness. A job is a job is a job.
AYE OWN SUM REAL SHiT i GOTTA LOTTA RESPECT FA STRiPPAZ WHO BOUT DAY BiZZNESS & MAKE KATZ DAT BREAK BREAD RESPECT DEM. GET CHA HUSTLE OWN SHAWDY. AiNT NUN LiKA BAD CHiCK DAT CAN DANCE PLUS SHE BOUT DAT PAPER....
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