to feel, or not feel..GUILTY?

while on a trip to another city, your spouse (or l-ver) meets and spends a night with an exciting stranger. given that they will never meet again, and that you will not otherwise learn of the incident, would you want your partner to tell you about it? if the roles were reversed, would you reveal what you had done?

i asked this question on twitter. these are SOME of the many replies i recieved..blue indicates male, pink is female.

@chocolatelegz thats is a hard question, but im going to say yes i would want to know and tell,because things done in the dark always make it 2 the light.

@GIFTUSEEME I think erybody has a right to know, that way they have da option 2 stay or leave lyin in my opinion is the worst thing 2 do

@kingboola no i dont want them to say anthing to me about it

@gforce365 ignorance is bliss. I don't wanna/need to kno, unless she come back acting funny

@305Swagg I think Honesty and Communication are necessities in relationships. I would rather tell my lover what happened...

@Mrexecutive42 I would want to know and I would confess if I did it.

@theD00M no. what i don't know won't hurt me. keep it to yourself...unless she gave you herpes & etc

@Carmel_Thunder no I wouldnt want 2 know as long as he protected himself Im good hes human & shit happens sex is sex but I know he l_ves me

@SophEducLady yea. I'd want him to tell me and deal with the consequences. Whatever they may be.

@WarchildSeven If I was the one cheated on, I'd want to know because that says A LOT about what my partner things about the relationship.

@iVenus3G I would like to remain blissfully unaware ,and if it was me I would never tell. There would be nothing gained by knowing.

@FABULOUSMEME I def wouldn't want to know & if I did it I wouldn't tell, it would be my dirty lil secret! Its good 2 be naughty sumtimes =)

@Johonna81 I think w/ women it's diff because we are held to diff standards. We cheat & we're hoes; men cheat & are 4 forgiven or just being men

@ericjunior nah, keep it to herself - what good is telling me anyways? We've all seen where "thats why I (fill in the blank)" goes

@grecianbarbie depends. if you all made a promise to eachother to be exclusive & share everything, then you should tell otherwise you are not keeping a promise you made to one another, therefore breaking trust. if no promise was made, then its on you.

@REBELLEIOUS what you don't know won't hurt you.

@lolamaia if its just a LUVR then I wouldn't feel obligated but if we r exclusive I would eventually say sumtn but not right away

@DomCorleone Very true. Either way, I'd want to know. And, I'd tell my significant other if I did that. I'd feel guilty.

@msjade people only revel infidelities 2 remove guilt from themselves, not 4 their partner. so if its never gonna happen again hush

@TGeights I wouldn't tell her I was with somebody else..and I wouldn't expect her to tell me.

@WesFif Thats a classic case of "what u dont know wont hurt you". On the flip side I dont think I would tell right away...but prob would eventually for closure's sake, if me and the other person are on that level that i dont wanna keep anything frm her.

@fashionmusicluv I wouldn't tell if it I was in that situation. If it was a one time, one night thing. Its over. Let it go.

@joebiam If you love/respect me enough (as stated) to tell me, then yes, I wanna know. Lemme decide my future based on truth...

@alishamayiact #admitit yes I would want my l-ver to tell me I need to know what kind of man I l-ve I need to know that he wld do tht

@Prelude2aKiss as much as I want to say I'd want to know everything & be honest as well.. I've learned enuff to say NO don't tell me..

@PrettyboyIsMe I feel that I would want to know. For a relationship 2 be the strongest, there should be no secrets.

@TheUgh no. It was a one time thing. I'll never see them again and it would be hard for me to just randomly bring up to my lover

@blackbarbie027 im too honest for all that shit. lmao..so yes, i'd want to know. Bc whats done in the dark will ALWAYS come to light.

@z53 I wouldn't tell, and I wouldn't want to know

@lolamaia I don't know. I'm honestly thnkn bout that one

i agree with @lolamaia. its a tough question which always comes back to honesty, communication and "keeping it real"..whatever that means anymore. but at the end of the day, do you REALLY want to know something that may not even destroy you or your relationship? do you really want to know something that will not break you up for good? because we all know, that after the many times our partner fouls up, we usually-not ALWAYS, but usually give another chance or two, siting temptation or being human as the reason for the mistake. on the other hand, we do have the right to have all the cards on the table, so we can know what game we are playing, right? knowing the truth enables us to make honest decisions, not blind ones. so on that note, i still dont have a definitive answer for this question. stay tuned.

thoughts?