pick your poison. die responsibly.

so after much consideration, ive decided to have an opinion about the steve mcnair affair.

so..as a quick recap, steve mcnair is married, had a mistress who supposedly was under the impression he was leaving his wife, and the wife also supposedly didnt know about the mistress, leading to a clearly distraught sahel kazemi to murder steve mcnair and then kill herself. of course there are many small tidbits about their affair-something about cars and vacations, etc, shit we all know goes on in marital affairs, and i dont care to research. you get the basics.

my wonderment is every ones surprise about a married man, an athlete no less, having an affair.

you cant be serious. as if this behavior isnt as old as water. hearing about an nfl player on vacay with a "jumpoff", is no longer acts of random gossip. this is an expected lifestyle, that oddly, while expected, still gets ignored. so when some shit like this happens, relationships everywhere get this jolt of paranoia and then quietly resume their hidden affairs the following week. we can go on all day about how having an affair/mistress/jumpoff or whatever, is WRONG WRONG WRONG, but you know, as well as i, that this lifestyle of being rich and getting whatever you want is not just limited to materialistic things, it also includes women.

not to mention, this has become some kind of victory lap for all the girlfriends and wives out there, chanting "SEE WHAT WILL HAPPENED WHEN YOU CHEAT!" ok. listen-first off, NO ONE won in this situation, and what this young lady did, isnt exactly typical. so dont get your hopes about your cheating husband/boyfriend being shot to death by doing what you know he has BEEN doing before you and him became exclusive. its always a woman who thinks she can change a man, she often refers to herself as "that bitch". im sure the mistress felt that way at some point, while getting all the things that the "other woman" gets, now she is dead. dont let the steve mcnair affair be the reason you think your man is faithful now. if you have a cheating man, he wont stop because this real life episode of snapped, hit close to home. if anything, it just taught him to be more careful. sorry, dont kill the messenger.

so, if you still think this is a WIN for the wives and girlfriends, let me even up the score.

Hello, Mr. Richard Jefferson. here is an nba player who left his beautiful bride to be, at the "alter" (not literally). apparently, some days before the wedding, the nba player decided he didnt want to go through with the 2 million dollar wedding, by sending her an EMAIL from PARIS, where apparently she didnt even know he would be. charming. she got the ring, not the man. still an all around LOSS for me, but since the steve mcnair affair was a sweet victory for girlfriend #1's everywhere, i thought id share what COULD happen to you too, just something for you to play with.

by the way-for those of you who want to jump on my back about taking sides, im not. get off your sassy horse. people died. its not a win for anyone. stop turning steve mcnair's life into a cautionary tale. his affair will not stop the careless acts of cheating men, dont try and change a man, change who YOU choose. SO, you can either be girlfriend #2 who gets lied to OR girlfriend #1 who gets left at the alter. pick your poison.

SIDE BAR: something very crucial had to have happened for the mistress to snap. and i am by no means condoning what she did, because that is clearly a selfish act, but i dont believe that she just woke up gun crazy. whether he was still with the wife or not, how can we pass judgement on a snippets of a story thats been remix, retold and not reported in its entirety. we cant. so stop.