Lets take a power trip..

"The abuse of power that seems to create the most unhappiness is when a person uses personal power to get ahead without regards to the welfare of others..."

I'm kind of curious about the kind of person who is granted power, just to abuse it? Usually, someone who has worked their way up the ranks of labor, and earned their position of power by achievement, tend to be humbled and proud to get to a top ranking position. The opposite of that would may be a dictator with pride taking advantage of the role. This is most of the time, but not always. The people with power that abuse it, tend to be the ones who didn't earn anything, they were just given too much of it. Examples of this may be, nepotism, or favoritism, or even fucking your way to the top, later realizing-that won't keep you there. If you haven't played the position of a subordinate at some point in your line of work, it can be kind of hard to identify with the people you want to control so badly.

Do you know someone like this?

We all do. Dealing with people like this can sometimes be just a really long bitter fight, all because they have a sense of entitlement given to them by the same person who gave them power. But I have learned not to give them any more of it. I am the only one who is ultimately decisive over my reality. Not an over grown child in a management position. I'm no doctor, but this blog is what I see from my personal experience with someone who suffers from the "Power abuse syndrome". People who abuse their authority are in a fraudulent state of control. People who have no direction or control of their own life, will always want to command others and keep them beneath them in roles of potential. Someone who has earned their right to delegate and be a leader has respect for the work ethic and wouldn't corrupt it because of their own personal issues.

That would be the next question..why do people abuse their power? Who the fuck are these people that harm or exploit others? Just because they are fortunate to have been given, related to, or sexual with the real position of power, doesn't mean maltreatment should be involved. Maybe that's what it is. Knowing that the power you were given, was given to you by someone greater than you, and it is probably unattainable by you. Or maybe, just maybe, we are dealing with some child hood issues? Neglect? Or, how about my favorite reasoning.."Narcissistic Personality Disorder". That's is when one is extremely preoccupied with themselves. Major self-importance issues. It makes perfect sense why someone like this would abuse a position of higher rank. They don't want anyone else to be more important and/or more successful than them, because God forbid..someone else becomes important.

So how does one stop a person who takes advantage of an inherited, unearned, force?

Nothing.

What do you possibly think you can do to stop a bull in a china shop from breaking everything around them? Even at a bull's most calmest state, it is an over sized raging animal that has been placed in a position where it does not belong and anything it touches, breaks. Eventually, these people who have to constantly flex to prove their position will shatter everything around them. You know, the karmic energy and all that blah blah blah, will definitely catch up. Remember, their power is ADOPTED. The person who gave it to them is likely to have been the person who birthed it. They are the only ones who can take it away. So, when in the midst of a raging bull, don't think your moral conduct can stop it, a power tripper won't acknowledge ethics, if they don't even know such ethics exist.

P.S. Kissing ass, showing fear, not standing up for yourself, or doing things you have no business doing, just because an authoritative figure told you to, are ALL ways of giving someone too much power. :o)

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Pick One.

Ok, why is this not hard for me? If I had to pick two, I'd pick "good looking" and "intelligent".

First lets address the Good Looking aspect. Image is everything, whether we like it or not. It consumes the reason of judgment from others 90% of the time. How we look is a presentation. Now I'm not talking drop dead stunning gorgeous. I'm talking someone who is well put together and appealing. Being good looking doesn't mean you have to be a Ford model. It just shows that you put effort into your appearance. And people can tell and appreciate when you're putting energy into your presence. I don't liken myself to a Megan Fox, or Halle Berry. But I do try to be pleasing and not too hard on the eye. And I would prefer that over being unattractive any day. That may sound shallow, but if I had the choice of choosing whats easier, then that is what I would do. And being good looking, usually helps rather than hinders, most of the time.

Second choice..Intelligence. I think this choice goes without saying. When I learn something new, I'm always so eager to pass it on. That is why I remain a novice at most things I experience. I'm open to new knowledge, constantly. Intelligence doesn't just rest on collegiate attributes or the encyclopedia Britannica. Going through everyday relations and activity can nourish the reasoning's going on in your head. Most of the things I'v learned have been from other great minds and findings. Which all leads to better understanding and appreciation for growth and intelligence. So, therefore if I could wake up and have the ultimate intellect, then DAMN IT, I would!

The reason I did NOT pick emotionally stable, is probably because I don't know what that really means. One of the most bitter sweet things about me is that I am emotional. I'm carefree with my feelings and don't mind expressing them as I see fit. I'm not implosive in the least bit, as a matter of fact I think that it is unhealthy. So, to me, I think there is no such thing. You can't stabilize emotion, only your actions. If you're in l-ve, try controlling that. If you're furious, try controlling that. You can not. But what you can control is, how you deal with it. Kicking a wall, is probably more responsible than kicking some one's ass. But kicking a wall doesn't mean that you are any less angry, just means you channeled it differently. Being emotionally stable, for me, would mean, taking that long journey down the yellow brick road, to Oz, to find a heart. If you have the ability to feel, or have any kind of sensation towards something or some ONE, just know that you can't control that. Point being, there wasn't three options for me. Being emotionally stable isn't real to me. If it was, than I guess it would be like..being numb. And I'm not feeling that.

No pun intended.

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With Brook Lynne in Mind..

I want to share something briefly..

When I was in high school, I ALMOST didn't graduate. My 5th period class was the dreaded Geometry, which I flunked the year before. I don't know if it was my lack of interest in triangles, or if I was just not at all good at the subject. Either way, for about 2 quarters I'd skip my 5th period Geometry class and sit in Mrs. Smith's class, English as Lit. We generally skip class, to go home, or do something naughty, but for me, I skipped to be nourished. I l-ved English class, and I l-ved the way Mrs. Smith delivered the message in all her classes. I'd sneak in her class and sit in the back. Sometimes she didn't see me, other times she deliberately ignored me. Needless to say, my Geometry class was severely neglected, and because I had carelessly flunked the subject the year before, I needed the credits this senior year to graduate with my class. The English teacher started to feel a little compromised that she was housing a truant student and told me "Monica, you can't sit in here anymore, you have to go back to your scheduled class."

So I did.

Within days of me returning to my scheduled 5th period class, my counselor called me into her office to tell me that I wouldn't be walking the line to graduate because I was failing Geometry, again. She said I could make it up in Summer School to get my diploma. I cried, of course, and I was so scared. My mom and brother had GED's so they never walked the line either. I would be the first. So I had to fix this. I begged my Geometry teacher for days to help me pass, my mom even sent her flowers! God bless her because she gave me a second, third and eighth chance, and gave me a ton of extra credit work. This brought my grade up to a D. And I walked the line with my peers.

True story.

I don't think my l-ve for English and/or writing, occurred to me until the last couple of years. I compromised my high school diploma so that I could be enriched by a subject that I just couldn't get enough of. Some would probably say, I am taking the same risk now. Who knows how well this book I am writing will do. But, I have skipped many classes of StripClub 101 to complete this project that I l-ve. I hope I graduate, but until then, maybe my supporters can help me with some extra credit..

www.WithBrookLynneinMind.com

Where you can Pre Order my book!

Thanks, Mrs. Smith.

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Friend?

The one question that I am getting tired of hearing is..

"If you caught your friend's boyfriend out with another girl, would you go back and tell your friend?"

WHAT!!? Fucking right. I would tell a friend of mine anything that concerned her emotional well being. That is what friends do. So why is this question even being asked?

At what point do you battle with your conscious about something that can and will hurt someone that you call yourself devoted to? It really does annoy me that people really ask this question with some kind of genuine concern. As if it isn't protocol to be loyal to a real friend. Now, lets be clear, I am not talking about a casual acquaintance or some sort of associate that you know through work. I am talking about someone you call, consider and l-ve as a friend.

In matters of friendship, nothing that is considered protective, is questionable. Some people are scared to put themselves in the position to "rat out" a dirty boyfriend. Some are worried that their friend won't believe them, or they are worried that even after they break the devastating info, that the they will still stay together. But why does that even matter? What she does with the info after its been delivered is up to her. Even if she gets upset with you, for telling you the truth, just goes to show-she wasn't a real friend. But trust me, you will sleep better knowing that she found out from you, and not some casual associate who did your job, just to see her miserable.

I had a friend of mine tell me that she wouldn't tell me because she wouldn't want to get involved. Which confused me, because as two people who are companions(me and her), doesn't that automatically make us involved? She rationalized it with a story about how she got involved before and there was a bad reaction. Regardless, it saddens me to know that she wouldn't go out on that limb for me, as I would do for her. Because I thought that's what being friends was about. I knew I'd do it for her, given the opportunity, but unfortunately, because of bad choices her previous friends made, meant I would have to worry about her secrecy in matters that concerned me.

I just really dislike this question because every time I hear the answers, it puts placement values on people's heads. If you answer that question incorrectly, I know what kind of friend you are, and that sucks. I will say that there are exceptions to every rule, and in those cases, I can understand withholding that kind of info. But for the most part, some of you, need to re-evaluate who is truly your friend so that you won't have to question the simple behavior of loyalty.

Bottom line, if you have to ask that question, then it is either one of two things. Either she is not really your friend, or you are not hers.

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I beg your pardon?

"I doubt that fidelity is absolutely essential for a relationship. ... Neither Brad nor I have ever claimed that living together means being chained together. We make sure that we never restrict each other." -Angelina Jolie.

Well, well, well. Let me find out, Miss Angelina. I won't say if I agree or disagree, because I am not married, nor in an exclusive relationship. But, I will say, as of late, women are willing to do more and more to keep a relationship together. Including but not limited to, being more lenient with infidelity.

-blink blink-

Oh well, the quote makes it seem as though she is doing her thing too. So, in case you're wondering how this glorious happy couple works, there you have it.

Scary, right?

source.

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Spring Cleaning, in the winter, though.

In the closing of the year, I think we all need to clear out our closets a little bit. Get rid of pieces we are or have been holding onto forever because we are too scared to let it go. Trust me, that floor length pink fur coat is HIDEOUS. Oh, and by the way, I'm not talking about clothes! I'm talking about getting rid of old frenemies that you are probably afraid of confronting. People who don't match with shit that you have going on in your life.

I did a post on this a couple weeks back..about frenemies and how to spot them. And they're worse than an actual enemy. Because with an enemy the lines are clearly drawn. You definitely know who's side they are on, and because its not yours, they are always adjacent to you. Even though they are in your line of sight, a lot of the insults they throw, are in the air. Which is usually harmless but noted. With a frenemy, they're battling you in their mind. Less easy to spot. While they kiss your ass and move in your circles, they secretly are plotting on being a part of any misery you come across. So, in your closet they are usually hiding behind an over sized coat, or stuffed in some empty shoe box somewhere. They will usually take on the impression of being necessary, and you will probably be in some kind of denial that this particular person even still fits you. Confrontation, try that on for size.

When cleaning out your closet for new years, just know that a frenemy may not be as obvious as a floor length pink fur, but it can still be spotted in a Feng Shui encounter. These mangy bitches are everywhere!

Happy Holidays!

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Strippers Into Housewives?

A friend of mine who works in the same strip club as me, wanted advice on something that is oh so common within the "dating" realm of strip.

A guy whom she is dating really likes her. Met her in the strip club. But now, wants her to stop dancing. Get a regular job, take out the weave and be a square. Now, she is stuck between a rock and a hard place because he is asking her to give up her bread and butter and settle for stale crackers. In other words, the kind of money we see, she won't see in some mall job that he expects her to pick up instead of dancing. And learning a trade to get a job that pays more money, requires money to attend which he doesn't want to invest in. The very place he met this beautiful woman, he wants to take her way from, which is admirable, but not easy. If she is doing fine on her own, and you want to release her form a job with so much scrutiny, then expect to help out. Not to mention, he tells her he will continue to go to the strip club and patronize the industry after she has left. But if you really want to be with a someone who is in a financial cul-de-sac ..wouldn't you help them, rather than just dictate to them?

Riddle me this, gentlemen, while you are trying to make a stripper into a proper lady via social standards, are you going to support the accustomed lifestyle we have? Or are you just going to go ahead and make these demands, looking down on us from your ivory tower? The heart does not contradict itself. If you l-ve someone, or even deeply care for them, you won't judge them. So if you really like a girl, and she is a stripper, you can't ALL OF A SUDDEN become judgemental of where you found her. Especially if you say you will continue to go, even whens she is no longer dancing. Also, the whole, take your weave out, look like a square, and "I'm not funding your already existing handbag fetish." is a little ridiculous. The fact that this guys is trying to change her into something all shiny and new is taking away from who she is. The money he spends on her in the club alone, could by a couple handbags, so you're telling me, the buck stops here? You can spend thousands of dollars on a stripper in the club, but you can not spend it on her outside of the club to help her reform from strip? I'm confused. Just because she doesn't have weave doesn't mean she isn't a stripper. Just because she doesn't have a Gucci handbag doesn't mean she isn't a stripper. So why are these few things weighed so heavy in a conditional agreement as to whether you can take a girl in the club serious or not? Since when does my 20 inch weave and handbag dictate what I do for a living? Especially when I see the same breed of female come into my club, as a customer, not a dancer, having the same "stripper" look.

Bottom line, you can't make a women who you would like to be with a "project stripper" unless you are willing to fund the change. A women shouldn't have to go without in order for you to feel comfortable that she doesn't look like the very person you fell for. And to add insult to injury, you ask her to leave the club and become a square, while you stay in the club, as a customer, spend thousands on some one else, while she struggles to maintain your comfort zone. Oh, and he is likely to run into another project stripper who will inevitably just replace the last girl he has tried to "better". Its a vicious cycle of confusion and insecurity, on the man's part.

Now, lets assume he does fund her. Let's say that he offers to help her out financially if she gets a regular job, so that she can still have the income she had when she was in strip. Now you have given a man financial control. Which is really not the kind of power you want to give any man, when its a "need" type situation. It's cool to have a man court you, buy you things and take you out. But, if the money he is providing is for rent, bills and to eat, you're now giving him the authority to spoon feed you. What happens when you argue? Or he has a bad day, or he has a freak lapse into your past as a stripper? Now you have to kiss his ass to get you bills paid. And he will sit and relish in the stroking of his ego, that you will do, to get your needs met.

Catch 22.

Ok, moral of the story, you can turn a stripper into a house wife. In my opinion. But, you can't do that by changing her or controlling her. You can only do that by l-ving her for who she is, not for what her choice of occupation or handbag she carries. L-ve is blind and without judgement. If it's the real thing, you will find a way for both of you, without giving up what it is that initiated that spark. If you start to like a women, who is a stripper, your best bet is to walk away, unless you can control your ego. Women who dance are entitled to a fair chance. Which brings us back to the Cost VS Worth scenario.

Is the cost of dating a stripper, worth losing to the left side of your brain?

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